Truth or Dare
Since the election, it seems our daily world is turned upside down. There doesn’t seem to be a normal any longer. What we used to accept at face value is now treated with skepticism. The crazy facts and un-facts make it hard to have faith or know who or what to believe. I’ve heard many people say, “It seems the world has gone completely crazy.” And in so many ways it is true. Normal isn’t normal anymore and outright lies seem to reign supreme on everyone’s favorite news outlet. What is the truth?
Let the adrenaline flow!
The crazy news cycle brings up my fears and with them, drama. Accompanying the drama is the payoff – adrenaline.
My first drama move is to play the victim. I begin by feeling there isn’t anything I can do that will make a difference. I move slower, feel lethargic and notice a tinge of anger under the surface. While it might look like I am passive, I am stoking up a large amount of adrenaline in blaming you or them or anyone. After I lay around playing victim long enough, I get tired of it and decide to step out and solve it all.
That is when I step into the hero. I begin planning how to solve it all or at least a portion of it. Whether it’s a dream of going on the evening news or simply stepping in with friends or family without being asked, I want to rescue someone or everyone. The hero is such an easy drama for me. I feel like I am helping, solving, rescuing, being good – whether others need or ask for it or not. I feel powerful, owning the truth, and the adrenaline loves it when I play the hero.
It isn’t long after that I realize I don’t want to be the hero – it isn’t working. That is when I shift to the villain. I feel like attacking the problem or more specifically attacking anyone who sides with the “other side” – whoever they are. As the villain, I have been known to strike out verbally at neighbors in their back yards, acquaintances at dinner parties and distant relatives on Facebook. I feel vindictive and the adrenaline keeps the drama going.
Help me….I’m Falling!
So what is the solution to break this pattern?
The answer for me is quite simple really. The answer is to quit living in the drama and adrenaline and live a life authenticity and of Integrity.
This doesn’t mean all the crazy news and problems go away. For me, integrity brings responsibility back onto my shoulders and I no longer blame. I take responsibility for how I act, react, create, communicate, and live in this world, whatever the situation.
The definition of integrity is: The quality of being honest and having strong moral principals; The state of being whole and undivided.
For me, one of the greatest keys to living a life of integrity is by consciously making and keeping agreements. So how exactly do I make conscious agreements?
How do I find my inner truth?
The first thing I notice is to trust my body intelligence when I consider making an agreement. What is my body telling me when I consider the situation and where do I feel it in my body? Does it feel like my body resonates? Where in my body?
I take some deep breaths and consider whether am I getting a full body yes to the question or not. If I am getting a full body, yes, then I proceed. But if I am not getting a full body yes to the question — then the answer is a solid NO in my book. “If it isn’t a Yahoo Yes than it is a NO!” I can’t tell you how effective this has been in my life. Practicing and learning my inner “NO” voice has made my “YES” voice so much clearer.
Once I get a full body YES, then I am willing to commit to an agreement. And once I commit to an agreement, I follow through with whatever actions are involved in that agreement.
I also continue to practice actively changing any agreement that is no longer working for me. When I no longer feel in honor about any agreement, I’ve found it best to contact the person as soon as possible and tell them “I need to change this agreement as it no longer works for me”. Regardless of how it is received, the quicker I can act the more I feel the energy flowing back into my body along with the flow and integrity that fills me.
Honor, Commitment, Truth—Integrity!
These simple steps have helped me so much. In living that life of integrity, I seldom get caught up in the drama and the adrenaline rush regardless of what is going on around me. I feel whole and undivided just like the definition above and I feel full of energy and have a true zest for life.
As always, when I think about living a more spacious, expansive life, I am drawn to tell a story and that usually includes the ocean. I created a short film about integrity and agreements and it is told best by my loving friends – the creatures of the sea. I hope you enjoy it and it somehow expands your capacity for a deeper connection with yourself and the world, using agreements to polish your moral compass.